Mammogram discovered breast cancer

I went to have a mammogram this Wednesday after I found a small lump under my right arm. I found out that the ‘rib head’ that I thought was slightly dislocated was instead a swollen lymph node which I have had for the last 6 months and that I have breast cancer.

I wasn’t going to tell anyone until after I met with the surgeon this coming Wednesday as I really don’t have a whole lot to say. I don’t know how large it is, what stage it is, what type it is nor what type of treatment I will need to go through. I am expecting to find out a lot more this Wednesday. However, Paul was needing to talk to someone about it, so I figured I had better start letting people know. I only started sending emails out slowly today while dealing with kids (day off from school) as well as other things – plus waiting for the use of my computer as the damn kids are using it all the time!!!!!

This sure freaked me out as I really wasn’t expecting this, or if I did have cancer, I thought it was just getting started. This sounds like it has been going on for a while, so probably more advanced, especially with two swollen lymph nodes. I have been crying at the drop of a hat, worrying about my kids losing their mother when they are too young, worried about Paul, worried about . . . etc, etc. Today I took Cody for a walk and while I was walking thinking that if I wasn’t around there wasn’t anyway that Paul would be able to take the kids to classes, be home for them after school, etc, etc while working a full time job . . . unless he had help. Then I got to thinking that he might actually get married again . . . to a bitch (of course) who would then be raising MY kids!!! I said no way in hell was this going to happen! I sent Paul an email saying if he was thinking of getting together with the bitch that had been flirting with him a few years back he had another thought coming!